Freddy vs. Jason

Nudity in Freddy vs. Jason

Alright, alright. So I've been slacking with my recounting of the nudity in all the Friday the 13th movies, but here we are to check out the wonderful nakedness that Freddy vs. Jason gave us. The nudity in this flick was brief and really not worth writing home about, and to be perfectly frank I've struggled with even finding the names of the actresses who lovingly showed their bossoms in this movie. I believe the first generous woman was Odessa Munroe. The second was either Jacqueline Stewart or Laura Boddington. Either way, the nudity in this movie was secondary to the rest of the greatness the movie presented. We horror fans were begging for a matchup of these 2 horror movie icons forever, and we finally got our wish. Unfortunately with the mediocre Jason reboot and the super-shitty Freddy reboot, a second battle seems unlikely. The movie would have been very enjoyable even without the nudity, but I for one am glad it was there anyway.

Tagged: Friday Funday, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy, Jason

I Spit On Your Grave 2

I wasn't expecting high art when I decided to watch I Spit on Your Grave part 2. The original ISOYG (1978) was a unique and different kind of movie. The reboot (2010) didn't cover any new ground. It cashed in on the horror reboots and was an insanely ordinary "torture porn" type of movie. Similar to Hostel and the other types of torture-porn horror. As a guy who likes slasher movies primarily, I don't need a deep plot in a horror to enjoy it. Some teens running around and getting picked off by a dude in a mask is fine with me. But there's something about torture porn that bothers me. So perhaps I'm not the best person to review I Spit on Your Grave 2. 

The lead, Jemma Dallender, is annoying. Her performance alternates between annoying and over to the top to incredibly dry. But for these types of movies, it's not all that important that the lead is a great actress with range. They only have to spend a good chunk of the movie nude and be able to parrot back lines. So I guess in that role, Jemma does fine as Katie. 

No point in rehashing the plot. Girl gets kidnapped and raped, then gets revenge on her rapists. Girl power, right? 

The characters are all dull, lifeless and people I don't give a shit about. That includes Katie, the lead. I don't care. 

Poor characters, weak plot, predictable resolution. I guess it's ironic that the reason I love mindless slasher and zombie movies is the same reason I hate I Spit on Your Grave 2. Watching torture porn horror at least helps me understand why people feel similarly about slasher movies. 

Tagged: torture porn, i spit on your grave, hostel

Japanese Horror Movie Posters

Those crazy Japanese people and their crazy horror posters. Here's a batch of classic movie photos with their own Japanese flair.

Tagged:

Happy Birthday Vincent Price

Vincent Price's Birthday

Happy Birthday to one of the grandfathers of horror, Mr. Vincent Price. Mr. Price is a legend, appearing in dozens of horror films throughout the years. Oh, and you can't forget his voiceover work in Michael Jackson's Thriller video. He may be gone, but he is not forgotten. 

Tagged: vincent price, birthday, thriller

Night of the Living Dead desktop background

Here's a nice desktop background from Night of the Living Dead (1990) at 1920X1080. Use it in good health.

Tagged: night of the living dead, desktop background, image

Nudity in Jason X; Friday the 13th 10

Nudity in Jason X

Friday the 13th part 10 gets a bad wrap. And it is sort of a silly premise. Jason goes to space? All the worst horror series' downfall comes when the lead character goes to space. It happened to Leprechaun and Pinhead. But putting aside the relatively silly idea, this movie is actually quite enjoyable. It's a very fun little movie with good kills, a perfect amount of cheese and jokes, and is just a fun ride of a movie. Not all movies are out to win Oscars ya know. But in addition, this movie had some great nudity. Ok, so Lisa Ryder's nudity was very likely fake, but Kaye Penaflor and Tania Maro's nude scenes were very much real. It's not the best entry in the Jason series, but it's far from the worst. 

Tagged: Friday Funday, nudity, Friday the 13th, jason x

Red River

So let's just get this out of the way now. This is not a good movie by a long stretch. Very low budget, very bad actors and actresses. A storyline that, while simple, is sometimes confusing. Writing is poor. Execution is poor. But we as horror fans know that this isn't everything it takes to make an enjoyable movie. 

So, let's name some positives. Cliched plot. I know that may seem like a negative at first, but c'mon... who watches horror movies for good original plots? Not me. A bunch of kids in the woods for no apparent reason, smoking pot, getting drunk and skinny dipping? Yes, that is the best way to start a horror movie.

Creative kills, this movie has plenty of them. The effects are neither good nor bad, but the attempts they made to make them good are admirable. The filmmakers are passionate if nothing else. It doesn't take a psychic to see they really put their heart and soul into this movie, and that's got to count for something. Right?

Nudity, oh man, buckets of nudity! And that's a good thing. What's a horror film without either skinny dipping or a shower scene? If you ask me, it's a horror film not worth watching. So the young actresses spent much of the movie parading around without a top on. I'm very okay with it.

Would I recommend Red River to anyone but the most hardcore fan, who is capable of overlooking the cheese factor? Probably not. But if you fit into the category this movie is aimed at, you'll probably enjoy it. 

Tagged: red river, review

Naked Fear

Finally, a filmmaker who almost... and I mean ALMOST gets it. You don't have to be clever, or even GOOD to make enjoyable horror movies. What you need is a good dose of nudity. Where this movie failed in my opinion was trying to take a bit more of a dramatic lean, rather than straight-up horror. Keep the strippers, keep the tons and tons of nudity. Replace the hunter with a slasher, and BAM. You got yourself a good little horror flick. This movie suffered from a lack of imaginative kills, but it more than make up for it in special effects and, as mentioned before, nakedness galore. And hey, it's free on Hulu so who are you to complain? Watch the movie.

Tagged: It Came from Hulu, review, full movie

Resident Evil

Let's put aside for a minute the fact that Resident Evil is based on a video game. It's hard to remember that fact since this is such a solid movie with lots of great, memorable scenes. Who can forget zombie dogs and that nice, long corridor with the lasers that cut the dude into tiny little pieces? And of course, the zombie-ass-kicking females, admirably portrayed by Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez. Definitely worth a watch. And thanks to Hulu, you can watch it for free! It doesn't get any better than a free zombie movie.

Tagged: It Came from Hulu, review, full movie

Nudity in Friday the 13th Part 9: Jason Goes to Hell

Nudity in Friday the 13th Part 9

Friday the 13th Part 9: Jason Goes to Hell gets a bit of a bad rep. It's sort of a weird entry in the series. It turns Jason from a mentally challenged zombie with mama issues into a supernatural being who can change bodies if you eat his heart. The legend changed dramatically in this film, introducing weird family ties,  weirder history. I prefer a simple, stalking Jason. But we're not here to discuss legend, we're here to discuss nudity. You don't need to watch long to see the great Julie Michaels nude. Then the camping scene with a naked Michelle Clunie and a nude Kathryn Atwood. Maybe not the best of the series, but a great entry in the Friday the 13th Nudity Series.

Tagged: Friday Funday, Friday the 13th, nudity